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©2019 Joshua Dopkowski

  • Joshua Dopkowski

Trump Supporters Surprised By Reality

Unexpected revelations about the Mueller Report leave many conservatives uncertain of what to do next.

GRAND RAPIDS (The Blunt Ogre) — At a recent political town hall meeting in Michigan, several Trump supporters admitted that they were “surprised” to learn that special counsel Robert Mueller’s report did not actually exonerate President Donald Trump.


Trump voter Katie Garnet said that she went to the town hall held by Congressman Justin Amash in order to confront him on his incorrect view that Trump should be impeached. She further explained that “Amash clearly had been brainwashed by fake news from the fake media, and I decided I needed to show up tell him just how wrong he was.”


However, Ms. Garnet was caught off guard when Amash quoted actual facts directly from the Mueller report.


“I’d never actually heard anything from the report itself, I just had been told that it was a bunch of liberal mumbo jumbo,” she stated after the town hall meeting.


“Mueller’s report describes concerning contacts between members of Trump’s campaign and people in or connected to the Russian government,” Amash stated during the town hall, and he went on to say that “Attorney General Barr has so far successfully used his position to sell the president’s false narrative to the American people.”


Many in the crowd were dumbfounded by this new information. “I had no idea that there was anything negative at all about Trump in the Mueller report,” Ms. Garnet admitted, “I hadn’t heard that before.”


Ms. Garnet went on to explain that “none of the news shows that I watch have discussed the details of the Mueller report, they just all say that it proves there was no collusion!” Garnet further explained that her local community all echoed the same sentiment, and that “we mainly listen to the real news, not fake news, and so all of us only heard that President Trump has been completely exonerated.”


Several others who attended the town hall expressed dismay at learning that Trump wasn’t entirely innocent, and one said that “I can’t believe it, Trump isn’t a great guy? I mean I don’t know who to believe anymore, next you're going to tell me that climate change is actually real and that Obama wasn’t a Muslim!”


Ms. Garnet later stated that she was going to stop watching all news altogether, and turn to a more reliable information source such as Twitter or Facebook.


The Blunt Ogre is a satire publication, and everything expressed herein is opinion or fiction imagined by someone with a deeply flawed personality. The above satire is loosely based on a real story covered by several media outlets.