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©2019 Joshua Dopkowski

  • Joshua Dopkowski

Trump Slams Capitalism For Being Too Liberal

The President calls for no more liberal economic nonsense.

WASHINGTON (The Blunt Ogre ) — President Donald Trump stepped up his battle against liberals, calling for an end to liberal capitalism.


Capitalism, an economic system that is rooted in classical liberalism, has been at the center of Republican ideology for many decades, but President Trump wants to put a stop to that.

“Any liberal thinking is nonsense, it’s just garbage, and it’s wrong,” the President stated at a recent press conference, “liberal capitalism is no different than Pocahontas and that young bartender.”


The President made mention of several liberal social policies supported by his political rivals, and said that such dangerous thinking cannot be allowed in “any corner of America.”

“Look,” the President said, “Bernie Sanders compares convicted felons to women’s rights and civil rights, and he says that felons, I mean these are bad people, really bad people we’re talking about, he says they should have the right to vote.”


The President further stated that “this type of liberal thinking is what makes liberal capitalism so dangerous.”


Donald Trump Jr. was quick to support his father and Tweeted, “just like Obama, snobby capitalism wants everyone to go to college.” In another Tweet, he stated, “we don’t have to be indoctrinated by these loser liberal teachers that are for loser liberal capitalism trying to sell us on loser socialism!”


Ivanka Trump, the Presidents daughter, called on conservatives to reject liberal capitalism and it’s “liberal stance on such things as the use of the word ‘family.’”


When asked if he thought that liberal capitalism was the cause of many of the nation's problems, the President replied, “yeah, it’s so bad, very, very bad, it has to stop.”


The Blunt Ogre is a satire publication, and everything expressed herein is opinion or fiction imagined by someone with a deeply flawed personality.